It was painful, no way to stop it. Sam used to overwork himself, just to keep the thoughts of guilt away. He did online college to help him in his early years, studying law and temporarily working with the FBI. He had two jobs there not Dean related, was his actual job and keeping the Feds off his dad.
Luckily for the both of them, he was caught trying to find his big brother, then it was John Winchester to make him become a Hunter. John stuck around and was only a phone call away, but the words that came from him about Dean when he wasn't trying hard enough. They were just too much and too true.
"Sam, Dean died for you. The least you can d